Writing sensitive topics - World Suicide Prevention Day – changing the narrative, new visual art, and a house with fur-lined walls
Updated: 2 days ago
People impacted by echo memory of parent suicidal threats and attempts, should be thought about when changing the narrative and starting the conversation for World Suicide Prevention Day, Oct 10th. Understanding for those who grow up with suicide threats as part of their narrative, and take on a care-taking, counsellor, protector role, hear inappropriate content; the way this harms the children as they grow up and also when they are adults. Silencing is usually part of the enmeshment/ egg shell parenting so talking about the threats carries fear of upsetting the parent or having them carted off and harmed by psychiatry. Art or writing that starts such a conversation is difficult, and usually not welcome.
The echo memories from childhood resurfacing as an adult, often never go away, and sometimes, during distress, in adulthood, a person might go with the action associated with the echo memory of the parent’s repeated threats, and attempts suicide.
Changing the narrative, and starting the conversation is difficult for people who were conditioned to keep silent about suicidal threats. Often hyper-vigilant to situations and wrongly diagnosed by psychiatry (that needed to recognise PTSD from childhood, as a factor in life difficulties, conflicts and suicide attempts.)
Art exhibitions, or books about suicide awareness prevention are always difficult, so it isn't something that is easy to create, and then, also, there is the question of who actually wants the work.
Initially NO has over the years has attempted to write out her echo-memories of the care-taker role she assumed as a child for 18 years of her life, which she felt was necessary to prevent a parental suicide.
There is a difficulty with writing such material, written to prevent echo-memories of a suicidal parent, due to the emotional enmeshment, toxic dumping, tribal and social alienation and other aspects of such lived-experience that mean no matter how this topic is written, the writing doesn’t necessarily garner readership, and for some people definitely is to be avoided.
It is really only in writing that Initially NO addresses the topic of suicide prevention and associated echo memory from the repeated task. She doesn’t create paintings on this topic, and is never likely to, though does attempt to have some humour about the echo memory, and made some pen and ink illustrations to go with her writing. Her work may also seem insensitive to some people, as well as the title of the poetry book, ‘Suicidal Ideation is Fucking Fucked’. Though, there are strong reasons for the existence and creation of a book about something sensitive that is also so rude to inflict on anyone let alone repeatedly on a child, that it requires a double swear word spelt out, rather than censored!
Initially NO has written on social media, ‘This poetry book is about how much I can’t stand suicidal threats. I do declare I would never want to threaten suicide, nor would I ever attempt suicide. It is important to say that publicly. I was told my paternal grandfather was murdered and had his death covered up as suicide, and my father also told of a boss of his (doing environmental work) that also was murdered and had his death covered up as suicide. I don’t want to be murdered and have my death covered up as suicide. Never will I ever want to attempt suicide ever again. If someone says my death is suicide, they are covering it up.’
Emotional abuse by a parent who never intended harm and feels much guilt about it, makes the situation difficult to understand. However, a child that loves a parent so much that they are willing to be to prevent the parent from suiciding, shouldn’t be silent for fear of harm happening to the parent, and certainly not silent as they grow older and recognise the emotionally clinging echo memory of childhood, that will never go away, sometimes turns into Tourette’s Syndrome, is annoying and horrifying, but can be understood as something that happened in the past, that can be ameliorated. In fact recognising the echo memory as such rather than being told it is 'hearing voices' is so important to define.
Books by Initially NO that have some content applicable to lived-experience suicide prevention include, ‘Beneath’, ‘Curl up and disappear (poetry), ‘Percipience’, ‘Naked Ladies’ (autobiographies) as well as ‘Suicidal ideation is fucking fucked’. Available on Amazon, and at The Painter And The Writer Gallery.
The Painter And The Writer Gallery was built in 1857 and regularly requires restorations and renovations, and that is also a sensitive topic. Glenn and Initia, owners of The Painter And The Writer Gallery, are still doing renovations, though are open this weekend, 10th and 11th Oct. Will likely be working out the back but available on the phone from the 12th to the 17th (best to text, because calls are often missed while making industrial noise!) and can come to the front of the building. As of Sunday Oct 18th, Glenn and Initia will be back in the front shop with the door open 7 days a week, 10am to 4pm.
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